Office Ninjas
by Charlie's Rat
Summary: You're probably wondering why Mr. Uzumaki is packing and moving to Central right?  Yeah, that's because he got promoted.  Promoted in the army.  Promoted.  Into an office. ;A; NaruHina


**Office Ninjas**** , by Charlie's Rat  
>Chapter 1 : Packing<br>( Naruto )  
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><p>Uzumaki was in his little room packing things up. He was going to pack up all his belongings (which all conveniently fit into one big suitcase and a big bag) and take a train to Central.<p>

He shoved a set of socks into the bottom corner of his suitcase and stood up straight. He groaned and rubbed his lower back. Bending over most of the time for long periods really did a toll on his back and now it hurt oh so badly, and now- CLACK_! Aaaaaahhh_, that felt better. He stretched for a second time, loosening the tension that had built up around his hips and shoulders. Uzumaki ran a hand absently through his short blond spikes and looked out of the window, past the dust flecks in the air.

The view wasn't so brilliant, but he managed to live with it for seven years. A cluster of chimneys and drainpipes, roofs, graffitied walls and a nice view of the sky. And then there was the Sunday market down below, along with the racket it brought. And then sometimes, actually at least once a day, a police siren would wail across the cobbled roads where he lived.

Well, it wasn't his fault that the Central Police couldn't hold down the criminal activity.

Oh yeah, you're probably wondering why Mr. Uzumaki is packing and moving to Central right? Yeah, that's because he got promoted.

Promoted in the army.

_Promoted.  
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Pro –mo –teeeeed !

Into an office.** ;A;  
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Now Mr. Uzumaki is going from this.

( Bodies clashing, blood, adrenaline, gunshots still ringing in his ears, fighting, body pumped, muscles aching, mud and dirt on his face, mingled with his own blood and saliva, the fight for survival, knowing that if you didn't kill -or defeat- your enemy that they'd be killing you, unleashing the monster inside of himself, his knuckles bloody from where he'd repeatedly punched another soldier, his pride as a soldier, fighting for the protection of innocent people, battle cries and loony and insulting poems, new invented swearwords . . . )

To this. ( Boring office life and addictive caffeine. A few numbers here and there, mouse clicking, computers, separate cubicles. Annoying boss, etcetera. )

He got promoted into an office, where, for maybe the rest of his career, he will be sat behind a desk and it most likely wouldn't involve handling guns and the like. He would have to attend meetings where he will sit with fellow boring colleagues and listen to an equally boring boss who will drone on about the greater good and point to a few charts with complicated lines and numbers on it that has some sort of great economic value to their company. And then, he will become a zombie, like his colleagues, and will ask them out for a drink, and then after going home sober he will fall asleep and wake up and do it all over again. And then he'll someday get hitched with an exotic woman who will remind him of his glory days and he'll get married to her and they'd have four babies and then his wife will tell him to get castrated or whatever (or she would take the pill) and then she would lose her charm after twenty years. And by that time he'd be a pensioner and they'd both be boring grandparents and their sex life would officially be over and then they'd grow old and dull and bite the dust some day and croak. Or maybe they'd cheat on each other for a bit before they died.

Uzumaki felt like he was being unfairly demoted. You can't just suddenly go from an active -outstanding- soldier who is used to the battlefield to suddenly be brought into a calm, almost boring, environment! It's crazy!

Of course, loads of his army friends had told him that the place he was going to was amazing, and that he will love it, but it really was all just some sweet talk to try and convince him that his promotion was something to look forward to. He preferred exploding bombs and artillery to ticking clocks and late working hours in a square box. But he didn't really have any say about if he wanted to be transferred or not. He had to. But, . . .

Yep, Uzumaki still preferred his army life.

Another thing that he wasn't looking forward to, apart from his new job, was the train trip. He was one of the unfortunate people to get a very stiff back from it and seeing as he lived in the outskirts of Higurashi, to the far northwest of Central, over the snowy mountains, his train trip was going to take a bite out of his piggy bank. Seven hours, three different trains and only his sketchbook and guns to polish (which he would have to keep in his baggage or otherwise it could be confiscated on suspicion of terrorism) it was going to be a long ride.

The tall blond man groaned and rubbed his head and fell on his bed.

In the distance, a police siren wailed as it sped across the cobbled streets and his neighbours started having their daily argument next door.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes :<strong>

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Why, it's just a crazy modified version of **Hiromu Arakawa**'s _Full Metal Alchemist_ and _Demons of Shanghai_ ! [also known as _Demon Taoist Corporation_] (Please don't search it up until I say so? Please? Otherwise it'd ruin the fun!)

I thought up a Sakura in a suit with black sunglasses and had a bit of a Men In Black moment -though I haven't watched the film-. I want a story that I can write whenever I want, and have as much ridiculous action in it as I want! So of course it had to be Naru Hina.

I'm still kind of figuring out a plot here, so bear with me, it'll get interesting!


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